attractiveness + nose ring

This might be a weird one, but i've been thinking a bit more about beauty and conventional beauty and my own face, basically.

I think i've been thinking about this because of how beautiful/handsome Hyunjin is even when he's just existing. The skz code in Busan, he wakes up in the morning and everyone is jaw-to-the-floor. And people on the street tell him how handsome he is.

I think seeing so many clips of Felix and Hyunjin made me understand a bit more about what it takes to be attractive (besides genetics). This might sound weird, but there are certain facial expressions and ways of just kind of existing that they seem to use. I guess all of this is to say, I think i could learn to be more attractive, especially since most of my college and working life i've been actively hiding some level of attractiveness because i'm a woman in a male-dominated field. 

Again, might sound really strange, but i'm coming to terms with the idea that i might have a level of conventional attractiveness. Or if not conventional, an attractiveness. I have a look, i am distinct, and i think it's a good look. 

I think i might've always been too autistic to know if i was pretty or not. I always thought i was a "butterface." I have some pretty deep wrinkles and textured skin, but I might be all right, ya know, and I never thought that. I don't have a ton of photos of myself, but i do make youtube videos once a week and select thumbnail images of myself. Here's one of those. 

And a cheeky little selfie when i was feeing myself, as a bug.

I have also had the idea of conventional attractiveness rattling around in my brain a bit after watching this video: https://youtu.be/z7JGqzljGkc?si=R4YSKQhDCK-1phzv from The Thought Spot. 

not sure what the point is, but i've been wanting to get my nose pierced and have been wearing faux hoop nose rings recently and that does make me feel prettier. idk, just a 32-year-old late-bloomer. (✿◠‿◠)