shelves + sci fi + satisfaction

i don't want to say much tonight, but i do want to share that i built these shelves and arranged all this stuff today.

the shelves are from an old cabinet that fell from my garage wall a while back. i disassembled it, cleaned the pieces (a shelf, and the 2 cabinet doors), sanded them, and painted them.

Then I put the brackets on and put the shelves on the wall.

I did this all on my own today, which seems a bit wild, but it worked out!!

i really wanted to hang up my electrical drafting templates too, but they took me a while to find, so here's the space a bit more decorated but after the sun set. 

the scifi isn't particularly organized on here except the green shelf which has some of my favorite authors and pieces. 

and the artwork has a vague theme of light/color/vision

anyway, i spent several minutes after this was all done just sitting and looking across my room at my apothecary diaries shrine (which i find so beautiful) and this new space which is sooo satisfying. 

otha + park + frog + cunt

i've been having an absolutely lovely couple of days but feel a little unprepared to share it all

(1) I saw Otha on Thursday.

I have no pictures of this, but I did get a t-shirt. Here's a screenshot of my recent vlog (that's currently uplodading) where i am wearing the shirt. 

i really really loved my time at this show. it felt great. Otha seems really nice. And the opening act, Tricky FM... she was such an experience and I enjoyed it so much. Both were so good live <3

(2) I drove myself to the park and went on a walk by myself. 

this is a pretty big accomplishment for me because i can be slightly agoraphobic, and I have a hard time doing things for the first time. I missed my turn at first, but it was all ok in the end. I'll have to share some photos later. it was an extremely nice time. it felt very healing to look at little water bugs or little fish. 

(3) https://monomalomonomalo.blogspot.com/ shared a drawing of my little frog stuffie. i love the choice of stickers and it is very fitting for the vlog I have going up (which was all about bugs). i should've mentioned this in the vlog, but I forgot to ಥ_ಥ

(4) omg i almost forgot. i cut off all my hair. I buzzed my hair off. lmao, that's kind of big news. 

Immediately after, all i could think was CUNT! by ISSBROKIE

i feel like angelina jolie in Hackers... so... hot

bugs + bugs + bugs

i don't know how i feel recently.

a bit hollow i suppose. and too tired to do much. 

driving is fine now. i enjoy listening to music on my commute. I've been listening to my bug music playlist. 

today for lunch i had some leftover fajitas. yesterday we went to a local mexican restaurant and they'd been playing Kitchen Nightmares. This is a bold move because a whole section of each episode is the focus on lack of cleanliness back-of-house. I have to assume that many restaurants have things we woudn't necessarily want to see. anyway, seeing Chef Ramsey scoop kitchen goo off the floor or peer at cockroaches is not very appetizing, but there was something about it that was very funny and charming and we had a great time. Once my husband heard the low-volume signature of kitchen nightmares (that dramatic waterphone sound) he sat right next to me and we watched together. 

i listened to a lot of the Chinese band Backspace today. at least a couple full albums and some singles as well.

They're on my bug playlist. 

I think i want to film a whole bug-themed vlog. I've been reading Bug Boys and Rebugging the Planet. I have bug bumper stickers and I can go through more songs on my bug playlist. 

the Bug Playlist™️

Moth Love by 1tbsp

bugbite by tomcbumpz

party at club bug! by spellcasting

bugbite by death insurance

六眼蜻蜓 (Six-Eyed Dragonfly by 退格 (Backspace)

Luminescent / Hotaru by Haruomi Hosono

Moth by N8NOFACE

Worm Rave by Metaroom

The Roach by Genesis Owusu

Worms by Viagra Boys

Worm Putrefaction by Analepsy

Creepy Crawlers by BUGCORE

One of My Bedbugs Ate My Pussy by cupcakKe

ネ​ッ​テ​ィ​・​マ​リ​ア​・​ス​テ​ィ​ー​ブ​ン​ス (Nettie Maria Stevens) by  未来電波基地 (Miraidempa)

Worms on Tarmac by SOFT PLAY

Maggot by Amyl and the Sniffers

Bugs by SOFT PLAY

Buck Bumble Main Theme by Justin Scharvona

Mother Bug by Brutalismus 3000

Sentenced to the worm bin your organs shall fall out your ass by RUSTY LOBOTOMY

Maggot by Slutever

Evil Poison Terror Organization by Dj Smokey & Varg²™

--- important aside ---

i just was looking for lyrics for Evil Poison Terror Organization. i didn't find them, but i did find that Dj Smokey is playing in the city on Oct 2nd. And cha girl is going to Ecca Vandal Oct 3rd... so... asking my spouse for his thoughts on a double-header. 

Some lyrics for the song though, if you didn't believe it had Bug Content: "Hey do you want to be a bug influencer? Now's your chance, sign up for the Evil Bug Incorporated internship program right now. No more slaving away at the bug factory."

--- second important aside ---

found another bug song because I was looking at Dj Smokey and he's got the song MOSQUITOTOUILLE with Skrillex

and i remembered that this morning I thought i should add Mosquito Song by QOTSA to this playlist. 

Bed Bugs by Snõõper

Melomelo Bug by neko boku

Nekonekoneko by Goreshit (idk if it really is, but i believe this uses cicada sounds)

MOSQUITOTOUILLE with Skrillex

Mosquito Song by Queens Of The Stone Age

grits + turkey vultures

i don't really know how i'm doing recently.

i've been very tired and i've been allowing myself to sleep.

i've been wanting to read.

i've been reading, which is something i've missed wanting to do, so i'm happy about that.

yesterday i wanted grits for breakfast. my husband and i were up earlier than usual, for a weekend, and decided to go to the grocery store and buy what we needed for grits. We went to our small locally-owned store and looked around, but didn't see any. I went and asked and they didn't have any. But i got a scone and a coffee there.

Then we went across town to the big scary poor-service grocery store and looked for grits. we still couldn't find them. so I went looking for someone to ask. (i should explain. i don't usually ask about anything. i find that some weird level of unpredictable that I can't usually get myself to do it. but I guess the power of grits overpowered my fear.) I found a man who was unpacking boxes of wine to help me and he was actually no nice and helpful and i think i surprised him by how gracious i was at the end of our interaction. 

F1 returned, but Max didn't do well and Kimi struggled at bit. so I just didn't have the most fun watching it.

We also went for a walk yesterday and saw a dead tree full of turkey vultures. Probably over 10 of them. 

We have a bit of a joke with one side of the park that it might be cursed by a witch because one time we went there we heard some of the most eerie animal sounds. It sounded like really intense breathing. And it had such a lure on us even though it also sounded dangerous. 

so this time, we were kind of seeking that thrill. There were a few things of note this time. The tree full of vultures, a tree full of crows, and a tree that had been very dramatically split. 

i've been feeling a bit rebellious recently. i've been wanting to buzz my hair. but i know i might regret that. instead tonight i gave myself an undercut because functionally everything looks the same, but i was able to feel what it felt to have the clippers in my hand and the back of my head is fuzzy now. 

But it might still happen. i might still buzz my head. 

the end

you're going to have to stick with me on this one. i'm going to take you on a journey. 

step one: first we have to start with my delving into German pop/Deutschrap (Ikkimel, VICKY, etc.). While I was doing that, i found a lot (like a surprising amount) of reference either directly musically or through lyrical reference to Black Eyed Peas or Fergie. This put bep & fergie on the mind. 

step two: i got my license and have been commuting to work. to make the commute something i actually look forward to, i think about what album i could listen on the way in and the way home. recently i've been listening to Jennifer Lara, Phyllis Dillon, Evelyn Champagne King, etc. That and my more recent loves like Charli xcx, underscores, etc.

step three: for the past month or so, on the weekends in the mornings my husband and i have consistently had the song Lovefield by underscores in our heads. this song. this song. my heart. 

step four: if you shake this all together, you have Meet Me Halfway pop into your brain and refuse to leave. you drive to work listening to The E.N.D. and come to the conclusion that this album was ahead of its time, timeless, completely of the time, and also so influential. It seems like if this came out today this would be like a top tier hyperpop album. it's so... unserious but serious at the same time. 

something in my brain is saying that The E.N.D., Jennifer Lara, Phyllis Dillon, Evelyn Champagne King, Deutschrap, Charli xcx, underscores, and hyperpop are all related and all important and all beautiful.

all i'm saying is The E.N.D. somehow feels like a conclusion to a lot of what i've been listening to recently. And that feels bizarre and beautiful at the same time. 

witches + reading + lounging

i think i'm in a mode of filling my cup again.

i've been wanting to lounge and read a lot. 

today i finished The Witches by Roald Dahl. I never read this before, but i found the ending... a bit more melancholy that i was expecting. 

~spoiler warning~

"...I would never want to live longer than you," I said. "I couldn't stand being looked after by anybody else."

"...by then I'll be a very old mouse and you'll be a very old grandmother and soon after that we'll both die together."  

 "...That means everything we did was for nothing! Have I become a mouse for nothing at all?"

so strangely enough it's a bit about finding life's purpose and coming to terms with death. 

I went to the library yesterday and checked out four books. One of which i've started reading, Rebugging The Planet by Vicki Hird. for some reason library books seem quite a bit more appealing to me than the plentitudes on my shelf. 

i'll happily follow the feelings of reading and lounging, and i will happily follow the feelings of using my library <3

i continue to think about my robot boys and their story, but no writing tonight.

bumper stickers + nervous waitress

edited and posted a video today: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uUhTEuVnnc&t=6s

i'm happy with it and what i've been doing on the channel recently, but i keep losing subscribers every post. it's a bit discouraging because i'm happier and more myself than before. 

anyway, now that i have a car, i spent some time browsing bumper stickers with my husband (while we were waiting for a table at a nice italian restaurant) 

There are a lot of good ones.

I just dropped about a hundred bucks on bumper stickers. The promise of bumper stickers (and some sort of Jinshi decal) has been the only think i've been looking forward to in regards to driving. 

so here's what I got

(1) bug lovers have this bumper sticker shit DOWN. because tell me why the HOTTEST LIL STICKERS AROUND are all bug weirdos. now the Enjoy Wasps is doing double duty because I'm also a Coke girlie.

(2) media interests. I had some pretty niche requests. Like a Captain Janeway Bullion bumper sticker (which doesn't exist) but these did enough for me. And yes, I kind of understand that the tim robinson one is a cheap lil money grab because brat font... but... i love brat. I love Tim Robinson.. so... it's just the one for me, ya know

At the dinner, we had a waitress we've had a few times before. The vibes were blessed. She was so nice. She has a really nervous energy for someone who is a waitress so often that we've had her like 3 or 4 times at a place we've gone to... not that many more times than that. Anyway, she seemed really appreciative of us so i kind of wonder if she remembered us too. (●'◡'●)