poetry + white flowers + moonlight

i posted a new chapter of my fanfic last night and didn't get much response. i do like this chapter, it is a bit forlorn and transitionary: https://archiveofourown.org/works/67059565/chapters/216262766 

interestingly enough, i think my music preferences might be getting more mellow, simple, less of the chaos i typically enjoy. 

Stuff like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iia6BX6bVXQ (Karen Brooks - Lost Silence)

and this: https://youtu.be/vWlRoC807nY?si=SBC9ewqd2snpx2Eg (James Ferraro - Marble Surf)

&: https://youtu.be/nqCTPxdW9tQ?si=QPPDlYK9mdGTQ73S (Green-House - Six Songs for Invisible Gardens)

Now for the hyunlix x twin peaks fanfic research from yesterday. Here's my full translated version, taking from a few different auto-translations and compiling

“Angel with Many Feet” by Shin Cheol-gyu

Water cannons chase the protesters relentlessly and strike them.

A person who was climbing onto a police bus rolls and falls. Their glasses—

fly off and their lips swell. The protesters rush the police bus—

cling to it. A crushed insect writhes.

 

Just because they are in a high place, doesn’t mean they are all angels.

Wingless angels drag their damp bodies out into the streets.

If I use this poem, I think i might just use the final line. Again, i think i find hyunjin's commentary after reading the line, as translated in the video captions "not everyone in high places is an angel" even more interesting and pertinent for this fic.

So then do i do something even weirder and take his own real words and make them into a poem he reads? somehow i feel this is the right thing to do. some combination of the words just as they are?

Just because they are in a high place, doesn’t mean they are all angels.

Wingless angels drag their damp bodies out into the streets.

Maybe heaven and hell aren’t places at all

Could they be states of being?

You’re all angels with invisible wings.

Either something like this or Magnolia Post Script. here's what i've cobbled together as a translation

“Magnolia Postscript”

Do not say the appearance of magnolia flowers falling is dirty

Even pure white snow turns to slush when it melts

Do you expect even its falling to be beautiful?

The end of my love for you

Do you expect it to be as beautiful as when it bloomed?

Like a falling camellia

Do you desire a martyrdom that ends in an instant?

In any case, I don’t think I can turn away like that

Do not pass like the moon behind the clouds, O youth

Look back, you

The memories that would have been better if they hadn’t existed, like scales

even if they scatter like half-burned letters

even if the evidence of a mad love remains like that

Are you afraid?

Because I loved

Because I ended up loving

The fountain-like passion that burst toward you

Tangled and clotted like a scab

Even if it is a love remembered as a wound

I don’t want it to heal

I wish I could be sick like this for just ten more days.

anyway, another night has passed where i haven't written the chapter, but just meandered around this poetry. and i am fine with that. for whatever reason, this decision seems quite important. 

I think i'd like to use white flower imagery, since i already feel that represents hyunlix. And the moon imagery as well for hyunjin. so for the lines i'd like to use, probably 

Do not say the appearance of magnolia flowers falling is dirty

Do not pass like the moon behind the clouds

Are you afraid?

Because I loved

Because I ended up loving

this seems like what he would be telling himself in this moment.  

and "I don’t want it to heal" because that pain will keep him alive. The investigation will keep him alive.