war + woods + clover + art

went to the woods today

then an art gallery

bought a painting

my husband was distraught all day because of war

i understand but also I feel pretty numb because sometimes stuff like that doesn't feel real right away for me. 

4 years ago, war broke out in Ukraine on his birthday. And he was so happy not to have a new war on his birthday this year. But... it's only 4 days later. 

we talked a bit about it sitting outside a Whole Foods because i really wanted a rice crispy treat and I can have the ones there (i'm usually allergic because soy is in everything good in this world). we discussed the impossible task of reckoning with being American. sometimes it feels like this immense emotional burden because we are fairly frequently "the baddies." i mentioned to him the sensation that i've been getting reading the Climate Justice book. this feeling that in the scheme of the world i feel like a billionaire, but in our society it's difficult to live any other way. 

some quotes:

"Poverty does not equate with stupidity. These people have their own knowledge, their own technology, their own systems." - an unnamed Vietnamese woman

"...human rights begin in small places, close to home, some so small that they cannot be seen on any maps of the world. 'Unless these rights have meaning there...they have little meaning anywhere.'" - includes a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt

i mowed the lawn this morning and listened to Britney Spears.

I also listened to CLOVER by Cannelle, which is my current obsession. 

i was able to sketch some last night

the left is inspired by some artworks in my home.

the right is my own pets. Clover sleeping, Big Al sleeping, and Looey wandering around. 

Photos from the woods

I think the below is Scoliopus bigelovii (also called California fetid adderstongue, which seems like a bit of a rude name considering i think it looks pretty neat. I guess it smells bad.)

This lil moth guy is Trichogezia californiata.

and then a photo of me, i suppose. wore a crop top because it's downright warm, especially considering the snow earlier. 

and then yes, at the gallery, i bought this painting (pardon Clover's head). This was from an artist Teresa Saluzzo (https://www.instagram.com/teresasaluzzo/?hl=en) I'm still not quite sure where i'm going to put it. a question for tomorrow. 

And then two things notable because of their relation to my fanfic: there were moss covered grills that my husband said resembled some sort of shrine that a Korok should be at, and there was a carved cinnabar chest at an antiques store. my fanfic does include a mystery related to cinnabar. 

now I plan to continue the evening by working on a reading vlog to post tomorrow. 

windows open + doodles

I WAS ABLE TO SKETCH LAST NIGHT before i went to bed i drew some doodles based on the album artworks i'd been inspired by <3

some things i'd like to draw:

• cats
• dogs
• insect characters
• cute fashions (a la lego clikits)
• maybe dinos
• bows and flowers
• cute kitchenware
• bats, devils, creatures

and more specifically here are some ideas

• a cat with headphones on
• a slug or snail on a dog (one time my dog got a slug on her thigh and she was very concerned about it)
• the artworks in my house but the way i want to draw them

Maybe i can develop a style. i've not had one before, but i have had different vibes for different projects

also spring is happening and i had all the windows open when i got home

gonna go out and have a meal now. ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

sketching + 2 videos

again feeling very drawn to the idea of sketching. 

again, the evening has slipped by. perhaps after posting this I will grab a sketchbook and try.

i've never been very good at drawing, but i gave it a very earnest attempt in order to illustrate some creative projects, and I was able to do what i wanted with those projects. but it does not come naturally to me at all, and i don't always feel drawn to doing it, which i feel like is most of the problem. 

upon some relistens, i really do very much enjoy that song aaahh give me some more time

anyway, i think i will look at some of these album artworks i've been enjoying so much, their styles, and taking them as some more direct inspiration for sketching. it's that playful high school unseen sketchbook kind of vibe that i'm being drawn to. that and the ultra cute, almost childlike. 

i want it to be fun and experimental and i don't even really care if it ends up good. 

very excited for Friday as i will have all the time in the world in the evening to make my sketching dreams come true. 

i watched a video yesterday with my husband that was two people pitching country music songs to a real country music songwriter. it was extremely entertaining and reminded me of my love for honky tonk. i shared some honky tonk with the music chat today and i think we all had a good time with that. 

i also watched the skz video where they record half time, bleep, and in my head. I really really enjoy these studio videos. in truth, those videos may have been the push for me to try making my own music. so i am grateful 

must feed the animals now. 

some album art + dinos

as i write this i am listening to a song called aaahh give me some more time by mietze conte and it has the cutest artwork

because i'm trying not to burn out, i've been doing a little bit less of whatever and i think it is working, but it does make me a bit sad about how little i can do after a full day of work if i don't want to be tired all the time. 

now listening to a song called l'histoire de ta vie also by Céline Dessberg also with the cutest artwork

and clairbourne practice by julie

this one makes me want crack open a sketchbooks and draw 

i should hang out in notebooks more. 

excited to start reading Tyrant Lizard Queen. The first part of this book is the Dinosauria Personae and I've already learned that the only location that T Rex and alamosaurus sanjuanensis were confirmed to cohabitate were in Utah. 

this image is from Dazzling Divine per reddit

i have such great potential to become a dino girl. 

pineapple pizza + micro sd + owl facts

had a personal pineapple and black olive pizza tonight

my phone storage has been so full that my camera app won't even let me open it. 

but i got a micro sd card and added it so now I AM UNLIMITED AGAIN. ╰(*°▽°*)╯ there were so many potential photos i didn't take because there was no room. maybe now i can make fan edits 

i also got some books from netgalley recently 

(1) a book i'm currently reading called A Charisma of Owls by Lynn E. Barber. (this was available to anyone on Netgalley.) I'm really enjoying learning about owls. especially the fun facts that are sticking from this such as:

• you can see the side of an owl's eye if you look in its earhole
• an owl such as a snowy owl can have eyes as large as a human's even though they're just a handful of pounds
• if humans could rotate their heads as far around as an owl, we would cut off the blood supply to our brains. owls have specific blood plumbing that allows for such rotation
• the dark pigments in feathers are heavier and can be more structural

(2) Tyrant Lizard Queen by Riley Black (i had to request approval for this one and i was approved!) This promises to follow the life of a T Rex.

(3) The Great Whereever by Shannon Sanders (i was auto-approved on, i think because I had read and reviewed The Hounding - an excellent book!) Seems there are ghosts and a family farm in this one. 

climate justice + limosina

i've been reading Climate Justice by Mary Robinson again.

here are some quotes from the book:

"I felt bad because I knew that the people in developed countries are our friends. We are the same people; we have the same blood. But these people were enjoying their life while we were suffering. I wanted to know why they were doing this to us." - Constance Okollet

"If you are at the bottom of the economical realm, you are imprisoned in your own neighborhood." - Reilly Morse

i just looked this person up, and found his website: https://www.reillymorse.com/ He does lovely paintings. i particularly enjoyed this one

Now for music. 

Pressure FM (is your boss being a prick at work) by Jack Marlow (also just saw the music video and i believe he's wearing an F1 Ayrton Senna uniform)

and YONKI DEL BAJO by BRAVA & Metrakit (this is Bassline Junkie en español, how amazing is that?)

and again Limosina. I am obsessed with Limosina.

Also, this is something that popped up for me some days ago. in my new releases recommendations is an album, avolition by requiem for you, and it caught my eye because it has some sketchy art of Asuka. i listened to the album because i wanted to like it just for the art...but i didn't like it. But here's the album art

i love her <3

oh, and yesterday i did edit and post a youtube video: https://youtu.be/Y5srJkYECM4?si=_WJyu3Zd3p5g1DOc It is a tag: What matters about reading?

but now i'm just going to keep bopping around to Limosina

human things + finished zine

i think i'm experiencing some level of burnout, so i'm trying to treat myself like a human and do a bit less "output" this weekend. 

often I gain energy by doing my creative projects in the evening, but on the weekends it can feel a little overwhelming working on the creative projects while also trying to, you know, do laundry, and be a good partner, and go to the gym and all that human stuff. 

today we went to target and got some things we've been needing around the house. i really dislike shopping for new things (i enjoy thrifting) but going to big box stores or shopping online is a dread of mine. anyway, we got cutting boards, a clothing organizer (which i then assembled and put a bunch of clothes on), a laundry basket, a lemon juicer, and ice cube trays (which i then squeezed 3 ice cube trays worth of lemons). 

so i'm pretty pleased with all the chore-based stuff i did today.

i was supposed to do some chore-based, human-upkeep things yesterday since i took a day off to do that kind of "self-care" stuff. but instead i only ticked 2 things off my list: trim bangs, trim nails. and then i don't even know what i did. just rotted i guess. 

that's not even true. I finished my Fern FM January 2026 zine!!! 

but i felt pretty sad, so at the time this didn't feel like an accomplishment but a deferral of responsibility

today i'm feeling pretty happy about my balance of being a human and being myself. 

watched the exhibition gala of ice skating for the Olympics tonight. 

i liked two additional songs by 1tbsp - Dolly Destructiva and Limosina. These both have cherry chola, who i've not listened to before. 

free skate + cyberspace

instead of posting this blog last night, i chose to be fully immersed in watching the Olympics. I HAD SUCH A FUN TIME watching Alysa Liu's free skate. it was genuinely so inspiring and warm. 

i saw a rainbow and snow in the mountains on my commute home. 

i've been reading The Hacker and The Ants by Rudy Rucker. I really dislike the main character so far, but i'm finding this a fun read because it's a "near-future" (having been published in 1994) "cyberspace" novel. so there are some really fun descriptions of VR and imaginings of how the 1994 near future looked like in regards to the internet and technology. 

Here's a quote for the flavor:

"Anyway, I kept meaning to go get a fake keyboard, but physically going places and buying material objects for my computer was not something I was into. I mean walking into a place like Fry's Electronics was always a downer, everyone sucking down Jolt Colas and munching candy bars, no women in sight, just males--pitiful bewildered larvae from under a rock, or pompous bearded lawn-dwarves with tenor voices, or square-forehead Frankenstein monsters, or sweaty strivers with no fingernails--lumps and losers to a man. How had I ended up associated with this class of people?"

and i almost forgot! one of my coworkers posted horsegiirL in our music chat & i lost my damn mind. So i got to gush about her for a moment. 

lu xun + interpretation + chu

i read two additional stories by Lu Xun 

(1) A Madman's Diary

i was very much reminded of the Epstein files while reading through this story. 

"Brother, probably all primitive people ate a little human flesh to begin with. Later, because their outlook changed, some of them stopped, and because they tried to be good they changed into men, changed into real men. But some are still eating--just like reptiles. Some have changed into fish, birds, monkeys and finally men; but some do not try to be good and remain reptiles still. When those who eat men compare themselves with those who do not, how ashamed they must be. Probably much more ashamed than the reptiles are before monkeys."

 

"They would never be willing to change their stand, and their plans were all laid; they had stigmatized me as a madman. In future when I was eaten, not only would there be no trouble, but people would probably be grateful to them. When our tenant spoke of the villagers eating a bad character, it was exactly the same device. This is their old trick."

maybe now, having read these quotes, you understand why. and i don't mean it in any kind of bigoted way, or to imply that i believe in reptilians or anything like that. I mean that some people do not try to be good and "eat a little human flesh." It's horrifying. And they should be ashamed. 

(2) The Flight to the Moon

i enjoyed this one. more reminiscent of something like Sir Gawain and the Green Knight or something from Norse mythology

"Yi threw back his head to hurl an oath at the sky. He watched and waited. But the moon paid no attention. He took three paces forward, and the moon fell back three paces. He took three paces back, and the moon moved forward."

 it didn't snow on the ground, but something akin to snow was falling from the sky.

I also got a comment on my the fanfic chapter that i posted yesterday. i am feeling a little conflicted. The reader had interpreted things a bit differently than i had. I often leave my work open for interpretation, preferring people be able to infer rather than to spell things out. that is something i admire about the Apothecary Diaries writing. There is a lot of interpretation of character intentions through actions, rather than explanation on the page (or even in direct contradiction of explanation on the page), and i really enjoy that. 

Anyway, i think i've decided not to reply to the comment. i know what i thought their actions meant, but i'm also open to the idea that my interpretation is just my own, and that these characters might have intentions that i don't even know. 

And music. Listened to ANDRS and BRN1NG BRAIN SOUND INDUSTRIES. 

Specifically Chu Chu i particularly liked. 

snow + medicine + yunobo

it might snow tonight (i live in a place where that is rare) and my thermostat says it's snowing right now, but it most definitely is not.

i read a story today called Medicine by Lu Hsun (or Xun). you can find it here https://www.ibiblio.org/eldritch/hsun/hsun.htm

a quote

"Left of the path were buried executed criminals or those who had died of neglect in prison. Right of the path were paupers' graves. The serried ranks of grave mounds on both sides looked like the rolls laid out for a rich man's birthday."

I love this description.  

Anyway, I really enjoyed the imagery at the end. 

I posted chapter 19 of my Apothecary Diaries x Tears of The Kingdom fanfiction: https://archiveofourown.org/works/67059565/chapters/209340621

this chapter shows some amount of love for Yunobo.

chores + rainbows + grindcore

went to the gym today and then had a milkshake with fries.

the rest of the day was a blur, really. I did laundry and folded laundry and i did dishes and squeezed a whole bunch of lemon juice. 

i got recommended a music playlist called Badminton training with a bunch of slam metal 

also finished reading volume 10 of Mashle: Magic and Muscles

i recorded a booktube tag while i folded my laundry and was able to talk a bit about the long hyunlix fanfic that i'd read recently but my camera freaked out a bit and i had to rerecord the first 10 minutes, so hopefully it still made sense the 2nd time through. 

I was thinking of the song Severed Penis Orgy this morning as I was getting dressed since I was listening to it and the other music i'd discovered last night. it has a Perrey And Kingsley quality about it that is very light and fun, that mixed with all the heavy and chaotic noise. anyway, I understand why I like it. 

I listened to Phylomedusa at the gym today. I particulary enjoyed You Fucked Up and Liquiroebics. These are from the album Mince of the Frog Prince so i have to assume this is mincecore although i'm still not so up on my genres. from what I can tell i am partial to mincecore, grindcore, and slam. But please don't ask me about electronic genres because i find that even more confusing. 

lots of rainbows today

frieren + dancier music

today felt a bit lost. 

i edited and posted a video https://youtu.be/MdM7Rysg_HY but the video doesn't seem to be doing very well and it did take quite a bit of my time. Even if it's fun in itself, I still want the things I put out there to do relatively well, you know. 

and i wanted to read and i just didn't find the time for it. i wasn't committed to it, you know.

watched some Frieren.

then the day opened up a bit starting ~9pm. I continued on my Apothecary Diaries x Bee and PuppyCat fanfic and started listening to music.

The fanfic is going pretty well. i think i know what i need to do there tomorrow. Also the music has been really fun. 

it's funny because i kind of wanted to listen to some dancy music and start reading The Hacker and The Ants and my suggested music did supply stuff on the dancier side, but still quite experimental. 

Human Pills by Kap Bambino

Bork Pelly by Lip Critic

Spitting Glass by YOU LOVE HER

Severed Penis Orgy by PASSENGER OF SHIT (which is absolutely as painful to listen to as you'd expect)

Robert Speed by mis amigas fuman todas (not dancy, just punk)

Boytoy by EQ, Estratosfera & Qiri (obsessed)

EQetamine by EQ, Estratosfera & Qiri (again, obsessed)

Fetish by ear (and then listened to a whole bunch of ear and i found out that i like ear)

hopefully i read a bit tonight. i miss reading.

parade + magic + lego

yesterday i went to a parade and at the parade there were old cars, industrial equipment such as bulldozers that i do not know the names of, a couple marching bands, cop cars, ambulances, and fire engines, and some assorted dogs and horses. 

I cried during one of the marching bands, just overwhelmed with the feeling that the community had come together to do something that would be so exciting for children. Part of this is that i was with young children, one of which was having a wonderful time. And I realized that so much of this was like the picture books he's been reading, including Curious George at the Parade, which i gave him last time I'd seen him.

anyway, I cried and then we went and saw a magic show and i ducked as the magician and a young boy threw and invisible knot back and forth. whimsy all around.

In the evening, my husband came home from the gym with soda, pizza, a pie, and a Ferrari F1 lego set. So we built that together and watched men's figure skating. 

The set is really cool.

(1) there's a Ferrari. 

(2) it's a pit stop and the people fly out of the way when the car comes in and then get into position when the car's pitted. 

sloshed + my EP

i had a pretty disturbing day at work. something unusual and tragic happened and i don't really think i can say much more than that. 

left work early to get sloshed with some coworkers and ended up showing up half an hour before opening but they were kind enough to serve us beers anyways

then I worked diligently on my Bug Sluts album art because I wanted it to be done by Valentine's Day. 

Behold.

in other news, I learned that a coworker had performed alongside that Haggus band (with their own band) and that they're good guys, so that's nice.

listened to some of those playlists i'd mentioned yesterday. I think it was Mehcore that had some more mincecore on it and some slam. Anways, came across RUSTY LOBOTOMY and i have liked everything i've heard thus far. I'm pretty sure it's just one guy. 

Now, for Bug Sluts:
worm grunting https://youtu.be/aKkUysxoLZk?si=79rROy6oF2aUjIDr
cicaduh https://youtu.be/3EG3y-OUlHo?si=CWG1FhA7b8PFjQCn

Crickets https://youtu.be/oPtl2Vr5wgM?si=aZu96ulit_A7050I

Pincer https://youtu.be/EUxnQoWJ6MM?si=DFPrR5oqQscSc53u

outlook + comment + death metal

Today was a little cursed. my outlook wasn't working properly (took like 15 mins to load a single message) and the first thing I do at work every morning is check all my email. So the day started off wrong and then i ended the day arguing with a coworker. idk i guess i'll get another chance again tomorrow, but it didn't feel great. And yesterday i actually felt like I had a good day at work and i was pretty excited to go today. 

this morning I listened to something I quite liked. No One is Coming by ADULT. 

anyway i kinda just want to write fanfic now to feel better but it's a bit late to start on something.

And I don't think I mentioned that I finished reading the 121,000 word hyunlix fanfic. https://archiveofourown.org/works/73803296/chapters/192466841

i'm not even sure what i'm reading now... just Mashle manga, i suppose. 

I got another comment on my Apothecary Diaries x Bee and PuppyCat fanfic, https://archiveofourown.org/series/5655056, and i feel encouraged to post some more of this since even though it's super niche, there are some people who would want it. 

GIRL, just saw the playlists similar to my February 2026 playlist and they are called "walk home alone," "Drown in Depression," "Depressive black metal," "Mehcore," "BlackDeathMetal," and "Taco Bell"

imunna be so real, i really don't think i listen to black metal or death metal

anyway, i think i'm going to feverishly write fanfic until it's too irresponsible.

pigface + more zine

today I listened to Pigface and more Melt-Banana. 

Shared Sweetmeat with someone who told me he'd recommend it to his wife for her aerial silks routine.

continued work on the zine tonight, but I've run out of time since i am a responsible adult with a job.

no more thoughts today. 

awake + cute album art + clouds

slept 4 hours last night

was gonna nap when i got home 

didn't

watched ice skating instead

and now it's too late to nap and i'm quite awake. I think the main problem is that i've just been an awake person.

lots of good music between today and yesterday. Angeine de Poitrine. Liked everything from their Vol. 1 album.

Las Petunias - the most adorable album and single artworks - i love them so much. favorite song thus far is SHHH!

Pioneer Digital Plastic Sound by 1tbsp also has very cute artwork.

speaking album art...I haven't worked on the Bug Sluts EP artwork since I gave up on it the other day. BUT, i listened through it once more and i still think i like it. A bit repetitive, i think, but generally OK. 

on the way into work this morning, the clouds had a very straight line

zine + grindhouse

i decided to start making a zine today

i have a few ideas for zines but the one i'm most called to right now is an idea to make my monthly playlist into a zine and then it can be a physical object 

I've got 3 pages so far. idea being it will be a simple 8 page folded zine using 8.5" by 11" paper

It's been nice to revisit my January this way. music can feel so temporary sometimes. I intensely listen to something and then it gets buried 30 songs down my liked playlist. sometimes those songs just go away off the app. 

i'll have to adjust margins, definitely, and do some tweaks to the images. So far I've been using album/single artwork. It started with Torn because I feel like the imagery for torn is so VISCERAL. and then it's just kind of fit since then for the other songs. i'm not sure if all songs will be this way. 

I hadn't ever paid much attention to the lyrics of Grindhouse, but they're a lil crazy. 

You've got me on my knees looking messy

Just a morsel please, I'm begging

A gimp has got to eat is all I'm saying

If I gotta eat shit I'm ready

Want your teeth knocked loose? That's the attitude

Sucker punch in the gut 'til you puke up blood

That's the stuff we love and we can't get enough (Enough)

Watch me lick it up like a good little sub (Sub, sub)

but again, with the name, i suppose it all makes sense.
anyway, i like the music ahahaha

thrifted books + dead hangs

Today the plans were pretty simple: 

(1) go to the thrift store

(2) get sandwiches

(3) eat them at a brewery

(4) go to the gym

perfectly executed and i did dead hangs and captain's chair crunches for the first time.

I got two books from the thrift store - a John Steinbeck I'd never heard of before, The Pastures of Heaven, and Cloud Atlas. 

I also got a few children's books for a birthday that's coming up.

I got some THICK 100% cotton black carpenter's jeans and a Betsey Johnson dinosaur purse. 

The super bowl had kind of started playing when we were eating our sandwiches at the bar, but it was just the opening stuff. 

And then later at home we watched some of the winter Olympics and saw Ilia Malinin aka THE QUAD GOD figure skate and, my goodness, I don't think I've ever screamed at real figure skating (but I've definitely screamed at Yuri on Ice and Ranma 1/2)

reading vlog + song & book pairings

i edited a reading vlog today and did a bit of filming as well. that has left me very tired.

I don't even have very much commentary about it or anything for that matter. 

Here's the link when it posts in ~1 hour: https://youtu.be/uttbUtnz0ho

i guess i will just say the bit I filmed today.

I wanted to share some song + book pairings that had been in my brain for a while

Bog Girl by Karen Russel (a short story in Orange World) pairs with The Bog Body by Viagra Boys

Walking Practice by Dolki Min pairs with both Feed by Surfbort and Couture by Epsyle

Chlorine by Jade Song pairs with both Locals (Girls like us) by underscores and girls with gills by chloe moriondo

daisies + screamo + album art

it's Friday!

I worked a bit on my neocity website https://jennyfern.neocities.org/fanfics

I added my hyunlix fanfic, Locked Into Your Frequency to the site.

I chose this image 

in part because i feel like the mood is really evoked here, especially the parts from Hyunjin's perspective. And I searched for "daisies" because of this image 

now for some music recs/updates on what i've been listening to 

First thing this morning (5:30am) I listened to 

初恋と戦争の準備 (First Love, Ready for War) by moreru https://youtu.be/XM6Wun2iYJg?si=Pxiax3yMiKP4xoeh, which was an interesting choice. I had a great time listening to this album, and I think I might actually be into screamo. Some moments of this album flashed me back to the days of My Chemical Romance peak popularity even though (1) the band is Japanese (2) the album is from 2025

I've been getting recommended Grito Exclamac!ón as well and have liked two of their songs but have not yet listened to them in earnest. 

I listened to Prostitute as well, for the first time. Had a great time. Here's the first song I'd heard, All Hail https://youtu.be/39ptXZCf61o?si=zfp32uY1gfuRS4EW

Absolutely living for this album cover for Zheani LONG LIVE THE OLD DEAD GODS

and EXCUSE ME but isn't this the cutest little artwork you'd ever seen? for Apiary by Gingerbee. I like their song Pinhole Blanket Sun (some more screamo perhaps. i never thought i would be a screamo girlie) 

I tried to work on the Bug Sluts EP artwork earlier today, but i kept having issues with both photoshop and the public domain insect website so I just set that aside for another day.

pincer + hyunlix fanfic

Pincer i think is done. I at least have a version posted. I'll give it a few days and see if it still holds up 

https://youtu.be/EUxnQoWJ6MM?si=htQ8yoAFnWp7mc-k

Very happy with the single artwork that I worked on last night before bed.

and here's my silly admission: I've been reading this hyunlix fanfic https://archiveofourown.org/works/73803296/chapters/192466841 It is >120K words. Girl. Currently on chapter 11 

screaming + legs

i don't know what it is about obnoxious loud aggro music that i love so much and gravitate towards. 

i don't know why it brings me pure joy. 

i listened to the Japanese punk jazz band Midori today and even shared the song Sayonara,Perfect World. with some coworkers. it's like very aggressively screamy and loud. why did I share this? at the time i didn't really think about it. 

https://youtu.be/y5TsmXh0brs?si=faGcLOigF_3mI29d

The 3 songs I was considering sharing were BLISSTER by LustSickPuppy (lots of screaming), Plastic Mincer by Haggus (that mincecore song i talked about yesterday, arguably the least aggressive of the options), and the Midori song. 

Arguably the Midori song is the least friendly thing I could've shared. And yet it did something to my brain where I thought why wouldn't everyone like this?

The earwig song, i think i'm calling it Pincer, did indeed need more. In fact, I'm in the process of adding more noise to it, especially the chorus. Ramping up, adding noise, adding chaos.

i'm hoping to have it finished by Valentine's day so I can have a Bug Sluts EP out and perhaps give it to my husband. he's not heard any of my songs and Bug Sluts might be a fun way to start.

Unfortunately I keep running into an error trying to chop some vocals, so I think I must give up tonight and catch up on some sleep

maybe i'll edit some single artwork real quick. finding some banger images on Smithsonian Open Access. 

The legs.

The.

Legs.

mincecore + breakcore + scream pop

I have a version of the earwig inspired song, Pincer. 

i feel a little self-conscious of how simple my songs have been (like not very many tracks), but then, i think as long as i find something about it fun and interesting, that's worth something right? 

didn't have a great day at work today, but I got some comments on things (fanfic & the blog) 

And I got suggested some more music that i find interesting

Plastic Mincer by Haggus

Graveyard Smash by LustSickPuppy

Wet by GRLwood

I feel like a bit of an idiot when it comes to genres and the fact that I don't even know most of the subgenres that I actively listen to. 

so as an experiment.

Haggus - per "The Metal Archives" are goregrind/grindcore and then on their website, they refer to mincecore. Per Wikipedia, goregrind is "a fusion genre of grindcore and death metal" And grindcore is "is an extreme fusion genre of heavy metal and hardcore punk that originated in the mid-1980s" I love hardcore punk so this makes sense to me. Now, mincecore is "It's basically punky grindcore with a focus on animal rights and drugs. Also features lots of 'oompah' drum beat bits." per someone on reddit. and again, this all makes sense to me. I will look more into mincecore and grindcore.

Now, LustSickPuppy - per Wikipedia "genre-bending, featuring a fusion of digital hardcore with genres such as hip hop, breakcore, and harsh noise." OK, I've listened to noise pop before. But harsh noise, not sure. I've definitely listened to breakcore before... 

GRLwood - per their record label website (i'm pretty sure) "We call it SCREAM-POP" and on Apple Music they "fuse punk, riot grrrl, and alt-rock" and obviously i've listened to those genres.

I wonder what my genres are (for the music I'm making). How many people don't know their own genres? 

gotta say, Haggus has some great merch https://www.haggus.com/

i looked at a lot of musical artist merch this winter for christmas presents (horsegiirL, Brutalismus 3000, Six Sex, and more and I didn't find anything i felt i "needed") 

gooner music + album art + another fanfic chapter

i can't even make up what my preferred music app has recommended me "based on my January 2026 playlist" which I had formerly shared. 

It recommended a playlist called Electric Gooner⚡💦 (i find the emoji's very important for the full vibe) 
so of course I went to listen to it. and "discovered" an album new to me, i'm in your walls by death insurance. This is some TOP TIER album art. I'm genuinely enjoying this but it feels like it'll go even harder on the 2nd or 3rd listen through

i guess i should mention i am attempting to dye my hair with Kool-Aid again, but I'm not even gonna sleep with it in so it's probably not going to do much.

but in the meantime, I've been editing this chapter for my Apothecary Diaries x TOTK fanfic which is now posted!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/67059565/chapters/206717086

recognizing shinji + public domain images

I've been searching for public domain botanical images to help build out my neocity site and i found this title artistic in itself

Trade cards depicting lily of the valley, a baby sitting on a rose leaf, an acrobat balancing bubbles on his nose, frogs making Pond's Extract, a woman and a miniature soldier on his knees, a boy using a meat jar as a boat and being pulled by ducks.

i want you to imagine these and then i'll post the accompanying image at the end.

I was working on a thumbnail this morning and listening to my discover playlist and a song came on where I recognized Asuka's and Shinji's voices. this is one of the things that's beautiful about consuming an art that is impactful across a breadth of humanity. you get to see it in other places where before you wouldn't have recognized anything. the song was Dreamcore by Pathetic  

the thumbnail by the way, from this video: https://youtu.be/r0dZUXLpXcw?si=gSX1ZGehpZ834RC2

Spent some time working on my neocity: https://jennyfern.neocities.org/fanfics

as promised

gym + milkshakes

i forgot to post yesterday so this is retroactive. 

I went to the gym after a few weeks off and it's nice to feel a little sore again. 

took a nap afterwards and then felt a little annoyed and disoriented afterwards.

finished Neon Genesis Evangelion.

i really really enjoyed it. i really enjoyed the final episode.

I especially love the moment where we slip into a normal life with normal anime tropes--Shinji and Rei having a meet-cute. Rei acting as if she's a normal girl. It was so surreal and i couldn't help but think a part of the message was "see i could make a normal anime that you would all be comforted by, but that is not what this is." 

on par if not beyond the experience of watching Twin Peaks for the first time. 

I've been editing a reading vlog and it interests me sometimes what I choose to cut. usually it's if something is "inconsequential to the plot of the video" as if my life has a plot. 

also went to an outdoor eating establishment and has a malted milkshake. it even felt warm out.